The Artful Dodger

The good news and the bad news are the same. The good news is, I didn't have to figure out what to tell the shrink. The bad news is, I didn't tell the shrink anything he didn't already know and actually, didn't tell him much of anything at all. He was in a chatty mood today and let me distract him with pathetic ease.

All he got out of me is that I am really having to fight off the Voices pushing for a nice deep cut (or 13) or a good, crispy burn (or 13). Of course, I skipped the Voices part. He translated (of his own accord without encouragement or discouragement from me) it into "urges". Whatever. He told me to call him if they get to a point that I don't feel I can control it and he could "coach me down". I told him, very quietly and without looking at him, that I didn't think that would work. He asked why. I told him that I had called him last week about the flashbacks and he never called. He asked what number I called. The office of course, got the voice mail. He gave me a different number to call. I still doubt I could call him. What do I say? "I think Pyro is coming and I don't know how to stop him?" That wouldn't exactly go over well, I think.

He also got out of it the fact that when it comes to certain things, Craig gets what he wants. Period. Always has, since we were just kids. And I learned to adapt. As things change, I just learn to adapt. I'm pretty sure I've told him that before. So it was nothing new. Then I changed the topic smoothly and without him even realizing it. It was like taking candy from a baby, almost too easy.

Of course, the Powers That Be are going to say that was a bad thing, dodging him, not talking about either of the two flashpoint issues. Surprisingly, I was even in pretty decent condition going in, admittedly, I was pharmaceutically enhanced. But, also admittedly, I am often pharmaceutically enhanced - but no more than my prescribed dose!! I'm just trying to keep a grip on these &^%&$%^* flashbacks...