Thoughts I'm Supposed to Think

The sun is out today and fall is everywhere. There is that crisp smell in the air and the trees are turning a myriad of colors. It is Kid-4's birthday today and we will be celebrating at a restaurant with family tonight. Last night was Chuck E Cheese and all the kids really seemed to have a good time. Things are going well.

NaNoWriMo starts this week and I am trying to get ready for it. I have my premise down and am trying to work out the details. I suppose I ought to do some kind of a scene list to keep me going and give me an idea of what I am going to write, but it'll be okay without it. Part of the fun of NaNo is the bravado of winging it on a whim and prayer anyways!

So far so good this week on the shrink front. I haven't done anything to hurt myself all week, except for fighting with the cut on my wrist because it won't heal up right and is annoying the heck out of me. LOL I have come to the conclusion that I can do the things on his list. I can do what he wants me to do. I just need to relax into it and stop fighting against it and every thing is going to be just fine. Now that I know what is expected of me, I can do it.

My guardian angel is coming for a visit next week. I'm very excited as it's been long time since I've seen him and it's going to be a great time. He's bringing his sweet little dog and we're going to go to the park and hang out for a while. If it is too cold or the weather is unfriendly, we can always retreat to a restaurant or I can have him over to the house if I get it cleaned up in time. It would be great to have him meet Craig and the kids, but only if the house isn't a humiliation! LOL I shall have to work on that this week...

I'm not sure what to do about Baby. I am hoping she will be gone by then but if not, I will either bring her with me (doubtful) or leave her with Craig. I had completely forgotten about watching her on Saturdays, every Saturday, so that Baby-Mommy can go do her thing. She thinks she will be done by 1 o'clock which is still later than I had hoped for but Craig keeps saying it isn't a problem to leave her with him and, of course, I trust him completely.

Overall, things are going just fine. If I concentrate on the things I am supposed to be thinking and feeling and doing then I should be able to keep myself together. After all, it's all about making sure everyone is okay. A well-prepared smile, a laugh at the right time, a focus on providing what people need to see from me... I can do this. Focus on showing people that I am doing good and that I am healing and growing and getting stronger and it is a win-win for everyone. Indulging in dark thoughts doesn't help anyone and there is a good side to everything. If a good side can't be found than at least whatever it is isn't as bad as it could be. I am a very lucky person, blessed with many gifts and circumstances. I can do this. I can be who I am supposed to be...

"You're never fully dressed without a smile!" (Annie)