I'm Going

I have to see it. I'm going to find him. I have to see it for myself. I think I half expect to see him sitting on a headstone waiting for me. I'm going to ask him why.

I told mom. I told her he is dead. I showed her the obituary. And she cornered me and I told her he hurt me. She lost it. I hurt her so badly. I can't think why I would do that!! I hurts me so much to know I caused her pain. Even more to know that He was right. He said she would be mad if she found out. He told me she'd get so very upset that I waited so long to tell her. He said she would say, "What's wrong with you?!" to me. He did. If He was right about that - what else? How can people tell me He lied to me when He was right every time I've been able to prove?

Today's Quote is the entire lyrics from Animal I Have Become:
Animal I Have Become lyrics

I can't escape this hell
So many times i've tried
But i'm still caged inside
Somebody get me through this nightmare
I can't control myself

So what if you can see the darkest side of me?
No one will ever change this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal
(This animal, this animal)

I can't escape myself
(I can't escape myself)
So many times i've lied
(So many times i've lied)
But there's still rage inside
Somebody get me through this nightmare
I can't control myself

So what if you can see the darkest side of me?
No one will ever change this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal

Somebody help me through this nightmare
I can't control myself
Somebody wake me from this nightmare
I can't escape this hell

(This animal, this animal, this animal, this animal, this animal, this animal, this animal)

So what if you can see the darkest side of me?
No one will ever change this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal
(This animal I have become)