Brad Paisley - "Online"

I hate country music but this song is so "OMG! THAT'S ME!" that I had to put it up here. (Well, not EXACTLY me - I really am a girl! LOL) The first version of this that I found had the embedding disabled. I don't know if this will spaz and not be able to be played at some point in the future but works for now...

Brad Paisley - Online


Lyrics:

I work down at the pizza pit
And I drive and old Hundai
I still live with my mom and dad
I 5'3 and overweight

I'm a Sci-fi fanatic
Mild asthmatic
Never been to 2nd base
But there's a whole nother me
That you need to see
Go check out MySpace

Cause online I'm down in Hollywood
I'm 6'5 and I look damn good
I drive a Maserati
I'm a black belt in Karate
And I love a good glass of wine

It turns girls on that I'm mysterious
I tell 'em I don't want nothing serious
Cause even on a slow day I can have a three way
Chat with two women at one time

I'm so much cooler online
So much cooler online

I get home, I kiss my mom
And she fixes me a snack
I head down to my basement bedroom
And fire up the mac

In real life, the only time I
Ever even been to LA
Was when I got the chance with the marching band
To play tuba in the Rose Parade.

Online I live in Malibu
I posed for Calvin Kline, I've been in GQ
I'm single and I'm rich
And I got a set of six pack abs that'll blow your mind

It turns girls on that I'm mysterious
I tell 'em I don't want nothing serious
Cause even on a slow day I can have a three way
Chat with two women at one time

I'm so much cooler online
Yeah I'm cooler online

When you got my kinda stacks, it's hard to get a date
Let alone a real girlfriend
But I grow another foot
And I lose a bunch of weight everytime I log in

Online I'm out in Hollywood
I'm 6'5 and I look damn good
Even on a slow day, I can have a three way
Chat with two women at one time

I'm so much cooler online
Yeah I'm cooler online
I'm so much cooler online
Yeah I'm cooler online

So... me online:

I'm a great parent and a wonderful wife
I'm a kick-ass writer and I HAVE A LIFE
I run a group teachin' folks to write
And dammit you know it - I'm always right!

I know all about psychology and raisin' kids
And even taught my hubby to put down toilet lids
I'm tall and I'm skinny and I'm twenty-five
And I'm the smartest and coolest Mom alive.

I have a six figure income and I'm living good
All the rights schools and the right neighborhood
My house is my castle and it's as big as one
And the cookin' and cleanin' are always done...

I'm so much cooler online!!!