Another Song That Grabs Me - Breathe In Breathe Out (Mat Kearney)

Here is yet another song that has grabbed me and captured my attention. Predictably it is off the Grey's Anatomy Season 3 Soundtrack. Breathe In Breathe Out... Some days that is all I can do and I would gladly stop doing that if I could find a way to do it without destroying my children. I think the song has a haunting mood to it, like someone on the edge of grabbing a hold of life and running with it, or letting it slip away like sand through his fingers. That is probably just because that is how I feel but the song, even without the lyrics, produces that mental image for me.

I'm embedding the actual music video (courtesy of youtube, as usual.) The lyrics are after it... (a tip you all probably know but i just figured out... if you click the picture, it will open a window and play the clip AT youtube. but if you click the little play button at the bottom it will play it directly here. y'all prolly knew that, but i just figured it out. *embarassed smile*)



Breathe in, breathe out
Tell me all of your doubts
Everybody bleeds this way, just the same
Breathe in, breathe out
Move on and break down
If everyone goes away, I will stay
We push and pull
And I fall down sometimes
And I’m not letting go
You hold the other line
Cause there is a light in your eyes, in your eyes

Hold on, hold tight
If I’m out of your sight
And everything keeps moving on, moving on
Hold on, hold tight
Make it through another night
In every day there comes a song with the dawn
We push and pull
And I fall down sometimes
And I’m not letting go
You hold the other line
Cause there is a light in your eyes, in your eyes
There is a light in your eyes, in your eyes

Breathe in and breathe out
Breathe in and breathe out
Breathe in and breathe out
Breathe in and breathe out

Look left, look right
To the moon and the night
Everything under the stars is in your arms

Cause there is a light in your eyes, in your eyes
There is a light in your eyes, in your eyes
There is a light in your eyes, in your eyes

Looking through these lyrics, the song is about holding on, having someone to help him hold on, a lifeline. The desire to keep going but the plea for help to keep doing it. It's not about making a choice to fall down, it's about having help to keep going. But it has a romantic side to it. Someone he cares about romantically is the one he is asking to help him.

I couldn't ask him to help me. He has too much fear and too much anger. He would want to know specifically what he should do and if I knew that I wouldn't have to ask for help. And, of course, there is always the large faction inside that doesn't want help, that wants to give up and go away, physically or mentally, just quit fighting. Because every breath in and every breath out feels like a fight. Just breathing shouldn't be so hard, should it?

There's no light in his eyes these days. He is tired and stressed out and I haven't exactly been initiating intimacy and the house is a mess and money is a disaster and everyone is running everywhere at once. Then add problems with our extended family and it's no wonder he loses his temper. It's no wonder there is no light in his eyes.

And I did that to him. There used to be light there. He used to be happy. *WE* used to be happy. We would laugh and joke and play and goof around. We didn't have to go anywhere to have fun and we didn't have to get intimate to have fun and having fun is usually what led to being intimate. At one time, being intimate with him was often a good thing. And we had fun. There used to be a light in his eyes. I took that from him and I don't know how to give it back.

So, for now, I guess I will "Keep Breathing" and "Breathe In and Breathe Out". I think I should do a post on why breathing is so important to me. But not right now. Right now I need to go take care of Baby.

"And all I can do is keep breathing"
"Breathe in and breathe out"