WHOA! I have curly hair!

My hair was very long. It reached down to the middle of my back, about 4 inches below the bra line in back. My split ends had split ends who also had split ends. I have been talking about getting my hair cut for close to a year. I was going to get it done on my birthday, along with the tattoo I've been wanting since high school. But we had no money so I didn't do either. I have been talking about getting my hair cut short ever since then.

Like so many things, I think about it, plan it, picture it, imagine every little detail of it - but do nothing. Then all the sudden one day, without telling anyone first, I will go and do the thing I have silently been contemplating for so long. It leads people to think I am very impulsive since I rarely share my background processing with anyone as I stew over it in the back of my mind for months. To others it looks like I just up and decide to go do something as drastic as cutting off 13 inches of hair.

Yup. Thirteen inches I had cut off this morning. And it is still about an inch below my chin. I had enough cut off that I could donate it to Locks of Love. That felt really good. And so far, almost everyone loves it. The kids raved about it. Hubby practically gushed over it. Baby-Mommy was shocked but decided she likes it. My mother and I squeed over it. (She says it makes me look 10 years younger.) Daddy doesn't like short hair but said it looks good anyways (very high praise coming from him). The only one to not like it is Hubby's-BFF. He really likes long hair and really dislikes short hair. Oh well. He's not my Hubby or my boss and we all love it.

The thing that surprised me is that when I washed out the straightener gunk the hair place put into it - it got all curly! MY hair is curly when left to its own devices. Before, the ends were too spilt and damaged to curl nicely and the rest was too heavy and pulled the curl right out. But now that all that weight is gone and my hair is healthy and happy, it's positively curly.

I actually rather like it. Still getting used to it, but I like it. So far, no one that I am around frequently has failed to notice it. I am curious to see if The Shrink will notice. Sometimes I feel like I am nothing but a chart to him and if he doesn't notice, that feeling will be confirmed. I do hope he notices. It's discouraging to acknowledge the inherent fact that he is much more important to me than I will ever be to him (and rightfully so).

I had a dream over the weekend where several people that I am nothing special to ended up, in the course of some really bizarre events, telling me that I am special to them and always have been. I woke up horrendously embarrassed but with warm fuzzies. It's ironic that I work so hard to be invisible yet almost silently cry out for people to notice me. It's like I want to see if I am special/important/good enough for people to take the extra step to see through my invisibility cloak. I know with my head this is illogical and unreasonable, but the urge is still there.

But now the urge is to go to sleep!