Hello Dad, I'm in Jail

Kid-1 stayed the night at his friend's house last night. This is the brother of Kid-2's best friend and we are also good friends with their parents (to the point that we are going on vacation with them, among others, in July if Hubby doesn't go to Atlanta). So the father comes over this morning (well, noonish) and talks to Hubby and, to make a long story short, all the evidence points that Kid-1 stole $2 off their computer desk last night. (The facts are not in dispute here.) So Hubby called Kid-1 home and confronted him about it. He denied it. Hubby had him empty his pockets. No money. Hubby asked if he could check his pockets. Kid-1 turned out first one pocket, then the other and as he turned out the second one, he tried to palm the two $1 bills from it. Still Kid-1 denied taking the money. He swore he found the money in their hallway on the floor and intended to give it to them but forgot.

Hubby brought him upstairs to me. He laid out the facts and the chain of events. I asked Kid-1 if he was ready to tell me the truth. He went into a patented Kid-1 tantrum, professing his innocence and that he hadn't stolen the money. (Mind you, there was NO doubt as to his guilt.) It took half an hour to get him to admit that yes, he had taken the money, knowing full-well what he was doing, and then lied and tried to cover it up.

In the end, he had to go down and return the money and apologize for stealing it. He will not be permitted to volunteer at the library this summer like he had wanted and he is grounded. The grounding is for the lying. It is for one week (not counting the 4th of July because it isn't fair to everyone else) and he will do nothing but go to school, do his jobs and stay in his room. I will consider "time off for good behavior" in the form of being allowed to come downstairs in exchange for doing extra chores.

He was quite upset about it all. We laid on the guilt thick and heavy. I hope it finally sinks in and makes an impact. I love him no matter what but I do NOT want him to be stealing or lying or lying about stealing. It is sooooo not okay.

And, true to form, I showed my selfish core. Though I didn't say it to him, I have to confess that I am embarrassed that *my* son would steal and lie like this. All I could think about is the quasi-song "Hello Dad, I'm in Jail!" that I heard a million years ago. I feel like his behavior is a direct reflection on me as a parent and I have totally failed. If he is lying and stealing at not quite 13 - what will he be doing at 22??? How could I have failed him so completely as to end up in this situation? This is horrible!