Just Keep Swimming, Swimming, Swimming

I like Dori at the beginning of the movie. She always sees the good in things. She can be cheerful about anything. And she instantly forgets the past so it has no effect on her present or future. She literally lives purely in the 'now' and mostly this works for her.

When I get low enough to just not give a shit about most things (like I am now) I find that all I can do is just keep going one second, one minute, one hour at a time. Whoever said One day at a time has no idea just how long that can be. I put one foot in front of the other and follow my routines, getting people where they need to be and hoping the rest takes care of itself. I can't afford to just stop, which is all I really want to do. So I go on auto-pilot and I just keep swimming, swimming, swimming...

Right now, things are what they are. Mostly, I don't care. Hubby is angry? Bummer - stay away from him. Kid-3 threw up? Okay, call the school and clean it up. Kid-1 broke up with the girlfriend? Hmmm. Whatever. They're back together again after less than 2 days? Okay, one less thing to think about. Kid-2 is failing science when she's never failed a class in her life? Bummer. Cub Scout Round-Up went better than we could have dreamed? Okay, next.

And so forth...

It's all about maintaining and refusing to actually fall down flat or give up. I keep telling myself that This too shall pass. It will pass, right? I'm too tired to keep this up forever. Or maybe I'm just tired in general. I don't wanna be me anymore. I don't like this game. I'm no good at it. Where's the REWIND button? What do you mean there isn't one?! Damn! Guess I'll have to:

Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming...