What Day Is It Really?

I woke up today kinda grumpy - like most days when I wake up. I'd had the strangest dream. Baby-Mommy had taken me to the hospital for a migraine I didn't have. And they gave me medicine that did no good through an IV in the wrong place. And I had eaten a brownie at some point either right before we left for the ER or right after we got back. Probably before because I'm pretty sure I went straight to bed after we got home. It was a very strange dream...

So I finally dragged myself out of bed, none too happy about it, and went about trying to get people ready. My first clue that all was not as it seemed came when Kid-3 asked if the new T-shirt he was wearing would be okay for picture day. I told him picture day was tomorrow. He said no, it is today. Firmly (read: 'with great irritation') I informed him that he was wrong because picture day is on Wednesday the 3rd, not Tuesday as he was claiming.

It is Wednesday.

I actually argued with him, with all of them. I pulled out the calendar. They assured me me it was Wednesday, which made no sense whatsoever. Finally I pulled out the computer to check the date. And it was indeed - is indeed... Wednesday.

Now, I lose time. It's a fact I know and deal with. Most generally I find out or remember shortly after the fact what happened. This time, I have no idea. The only thing I can figure is that when I took too many of the Xanax Monday night, I threw off something in my head. And I didn't quite shake it off until this morning.

I've been trying to think of what exactly made me take all those pills. Because I wasn't trying to kill myself. I know what dosage in what combination to make that happen and I deliberately didn't do that. Nonetheless, I knew I was taking a handful and I knew that was kinda sorta supposed to be a bad thing. I just couldn't stand the thought of being awake any longer. So I took a handful of them and went to bed.

But... why?

I mean, it's gotten so bad that I cancelled my appointment with The Shrink today, just because I couldn't stand the thought of going. I've never done that before. I practically worship the man and count on him to help me work through things like this and I didn't want to be there. (I did reschedule for Friday morning, though. Maybe he can help me figure this out.)