I thought at first that I don't feel anger. Then I realized that I actually feel it a lot. But mostly I feel it towards myself. When I feel it towards anyone else, I get very upset and back away from it by whatever means it takes. I don't do this on purpose and have only recently realized that is even what I'm doing. A sample conversation between two of the SV might look like this:
Voice 1: She had no right to call me an ungrateful brat!
Voice 2: Why not?
Voice 1: Because it's hurtful and not true.
Voice 2: Are you sure it isn't true?
Voice 1: Well...
Voice 2: Exactly.
Voice 1: Now wait! I'm not really like that. I am grateful!
Voice 2: Oh really? That's why you treat her like you do? That's why you do soooo much for her?
(Several other Voices jump in here to elaborate on how exactly I am ungrateful. A few might argue otherwise.)
Voice 1: I AM grateful, even if I don't act like it.
Voice 2: Well you don't act like it so you can't get mad at her for saying it. If you want to get mad at someone, get mad at yourself. You caused the mess in the first place.
Voice 1: (sulking now) Well, I'm still not a brat...
Voice 2: OH! Don't even get me started on that one!
Voice 1: Yeah, you're right. She just called a spade a spade and if I didn't like what she said, well, truth hurts, doesn't it?
And just like that, I'm not angry except at myself. So, how do other people get mad and stay mad and why don't I? And is this a good thing or a bad thing? Is anger ever good? Should I be angry?
1 comment:
I can totally realte to this post. I have told many people that I don't "do" anger. It makes me uncomfortable. I can't stand the discomfort I feel when I know others are displeased so instead I swallow my anger and always seem to make nice, or not make waves in the first place. It can be so frustrating at times.
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