Self-Soothing or Dissociation?

I get scared. I breathe. Slowly, rhythmically, to a particular cadence. And I rock, rhythmically, to the same count. Eyes closed to shut out the lights, count loudly to shut out the sounds, breathe deeply to slow the heart and relax into myself, sinking slowly into relaxation like pulling a heavy blanket over my head to shut out the world.

It has taken me years to perfect the technique, to get the right breathing and the right sinking feeling to come when I need it, want it. I use it when I'm scared, angry, confused, in pain - even when I'm cold like in an over-air-conditioned restaurant. Breathe, count, rock, relax... and it all goes away enough that I can think again, so I can get a grip or so the pain lessens enough to think for just a moment.

After Wednesday, when I looked at my hands and they weren't mine, when I let myself fade away and voluntarily handed the reins over, I have begun to wonder. Because the pulling away, it felt like an exaggeration of my self-soothing method. And now I can't help but wonder if I have learned to dissociate, just to a small degree, on command. Because, using that, I can handle almost anything from being too cold to being put in a position where I have no control and feel unsafe. I may not be able to sustain for long, depending on what is happening, but I can pull away, relax I have always called it, long enough to figure out how to handle the situation.

What am I doing? Is it okay? I can't imagine not having it to assuage the panic attacks... Am I doing something wrong? Am I going to end up in trouble for this too?