First Day of School

Everyone went back to school today. Kid-1 is in 8th grade - back at the top of the food chain. He reported that school was "boring" - how very 14 year old boy!! Kid-2 has decided she loves 7th grade way more than 6th grade. Her BFF moved up to middle school this year and had a wonderful day as well. Kid-3 is now top dog in the 5th grade with the added power of safety patrol. He had a good day and absolutely loves his teacher. Kid-4 had an alright day, although he spent some of it n the nurse's office with a bad headache. Not sure what's up with that but it passed enough that he went back to class without incident.

The bigger news is that it was MY first day back at school too. For 15 years I have been saying I want to go back to school. A couple of times it looked promising. About 11 years ago, I took a couple of classes via internet but never made it onto campus like I wanted. Today, it finally happened. I had Critical Thinking today which is logic and argument analysis. I was rather worried as I envisioned a million papers to write and classroom debates and things of that nature. I didn't take into account that this is NOT an Honors class and it IS a freshman level class. It won't be a blow off class but I am confident that I will be able to handle it without a huge amount of stress.

Tomorrow is the class I am most nervous about. At 9 am I have Honors Ethics. I had to get special permission to take the class and am aware of the extra work that will be required in it. I read the 1st half of the ethics book that dealt with the theory and background and perspectives involved in ethics. I didn't read through the 2nd half that is applied ethics. Basically it is several controversial topics with each side represented in essays. I skimmed them but haven't read them yet. Truth be told I am terrified. At the same time, I am so excited!!

Also tomorrow I have Sociology at noon. I am not hideously worried about that one but we will see how it goes. Friday I have my psych 100 class (Introduction to the Fields and Study of Psychology). Truthfully I am not looking forward to is as I read the book and the syllabus and class schedule and didn't find much of anything that I don't know. I will get to learn how to use the psychology journal articles database, though. That will be critical information for later.

I also got my 1st hospice patient for my volunteering. I will contact her tomorrow and set things up. All in all, things are shaping up nicely. I have learned so much in the past few months and really feel like I am heading in a good direction.

Wish me luck!

Disney Rocks!

We had quite the busy time down in Florida last week.

Saturday: It took us 14.5 hours to get to Atlanta because of construction traffic but we had two very yummy food stops along the way. When we got there (about midnight) they didn't have any double rooms left. Daddy had guaranteed late arrival though so we had to suffer through what they did have: the presidential suite!!! It is literally the most amazing hotel room I have ever been in. It had two bedrooms with king size beds in each, a full dining room with a table that seats 8 people, a full living room set including a queen size hide a bed, a writing desk that is as big as my dining room table, walk-in closets in both rooms, full bathrooms in both rooms, an astonishing view, super soft sheets....... It was simply jaw-dropping.

Sunday: we headed to Downtown Disney after we arrived and checked in. We weren't connecting rooms but they were adjoining so it wasn't a problem. Disney was booked solid the entire time we were down there due to the meal plan special which meant everything Disney related was also crammed full. Predictably, Mom had a massive panic attack on the bus ride to Downtown Disney. It took about a half hour to calm her down. But then we went to Rainforest Cafe and had super-yummy food. Mom, Daddy and Kid-1 headed back to the room after dinner and Hubby, Kid-2, Kid-3 and Kid-4 and I did some shopping.

Monday: Animal Kingdom! Kid-4 loves the Dino Land rides and I finally got to ride Dinosaur! without him so that I could see it. (Last time he went with us and totally freaked out the entire time.) It was incredibly hot and humid compared to what we are used to and there were very few air conditioned places to relieve us. Got some awesome shots of the tigers though.

Tuesday: Epcot! We started the day off with a huge thunderstorm - quite beautiful actually - which I stood outside during in order to get completely drenched, thereby cooling off a little. Space Mountain is closed, which bites, but we had fun elsewhere. They have a Kim Possible thing going that is a digital scavenger hunt for the kids through one of the countries. It takes about a half hour and they can do as many as they want. The kids did 2 of them, one through Mexico and one through Japan. We saw IllumiNations (fireworks/light show) which was totally wicked. (I videoed it too!)

Wednesday: Hollywood Studios... Strangely enough I would say this was my favorite of the parks this time around. The stunt show was OMG good (yup, videoed it too.) The Rockin Roller Coaster was A W E S O M E !! Wearing the Sea Bands, I didn't get sick from it. It's magnetic so it isn't as shaky-bumpy so I didn't get a headache from it and it's in the dark so I didn't psych myself out on it. Two complete loops and all sorts of twisty-turnies. I loved loved loved it! We also did Tower of Terror. Ick - still don't like that one too much. That day was a lot of fun.

Thursday: Magic Kingdom! By the time we got to MK my feet were positively bruised (visibly - no exaggeration) and I felt like I had glass in my knees. Mom wasn't feeling too well. We split up to ride different things and I enjoyed the roller coaster and the log ride thingie. Both the light parade and the fireworks rained out, which sucked, but we got to do all my super favorites like Small World and Stitch.

Friday: Yeah... the vacation tanked at this point. Not only did we have to go home (WAH!!) Mom got REALLY sick. She had a super high fever, horrible cough, wouldn't eat or drink or anything. Basically speaking we just hauled tail for home.

Saturday: We got home about 8:30. Mom was in really bad shape. Daddy and I took her to the ER. It was far worse than we thought. Her O2 saturation was at 74 (should be 100); her pulse was 160+ (should be < 100); her respirations were 35+ (30 is scary); and her blood pressure was all over the chart. They drugged her up nicely and did a CT. Pneumonia and it's ugly. She is still in the hospital, doing better but a long way from doing good. She's safe. It's just a matter of time and medicine to get her back on her feet but it sure scared Daddy and me something fierce...

Countdown to Disney!

Saturday morning we leave for Disney World. Tomorrow, Hubby has taken off work to help get us ready. I am so excited about this that I can hardly stand it but at the same time I am completely overwhelmed. There is so much to do to get ready, so many loose ends to try and tied, so much to organize and pack and remember. I have made list after list and lists of my lists and that is the only thing keeping me on track. I finally accepted that some things simply aren't going to get done before I leave. The van won't be repaired before we go on the passenger side where it has a nasty boo-boo. But the mirror can still be adjusted to see behind us, even though it wobbles a bit and the crunch on the door doesn't affect anything functionally so it can wait until we return. I did get my new glasses - YAY for sunglasses attached to the new pair!

We also got school supply shopping done. We even managed to get a new all in one printer. It's so frustrating that we have TWO printers and neither of them work even semi-decently. But now we have a cool happy printer: an Epson Stylus NX300 for under $50! And now we all have backpacks and notebooks and binders and pencils and all the fun supplies that come with a new school year.

All my textbooks are in, of course, as is my Magic Pen which I am so totally in love with!!! I am so excited to be going back to school! I'm nervous, too. 10 credit hours over 4 classes is a huge change for me. I'm confident that I can do it but it is going to be hard work. With the change in routine from all of us going back to school, I am trying to make some other lifestyle changes as well.

Specifically, the fitness center is free for students and I plan on taking advantage of it. All of my barriers (read: excuses) don't apply now so we will see how it goes. I read about a program called Couch-to-5K that I am going to give a try. I know how strange it sounds but jogging is the most appealing form of exercise to me; I'm just so fat and out of shape that I can't do it. There is a scene in the movie What Women Want where they are showing a Nike Women's Division ad showing a woman jogging talking about how the road doesn't care what you're wearing or how long it's been since you ran and all that stuff and ends with "Nike. No games, just sports." I LOVE the sentiments expressed in that commercial. I also love the symbolism of running away or outrunning the stress. And, of course, the universality of running: anywhere, anytime, no special equipment needed. I would love to get back into shape enough that I could run. Hopefully my knees can handle it!

So here I am at 1:30 in the morning, writing instead of sleeping. My mind won't shut off. So many changes have happened this summer that it's mind-blowing. Overall, they are all for the better. Some came with pain, some came only after a lot of frustration. Some of the changes have been a LONG time coming (like 15 years!!) and others caught me by surprise. Change is constant though and even when it is painful or awkward, it should be embraced and counted as a good thing. After all, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. And if it does kill me, well that's not a bad thing either. LOL

So don't be surprised if I don't post for a while. We leave on vacation Saturday and get back right before school starts. (Thank goodness for house sitters!) Then school starts and everything changes again. Not to mention that I've been doing a lot of my writing in a couple of other places. (Who can resist writing in a journal with all the bells and whistles that my Magic Pen provides?! LOL) Wish me luck and take care of yourself while I'm gone. I'll think of you while I'm gone (though admittedly not all of the time - go figure!) and catch up when I am back...

MAC IS BACK!!

My laptop (affectionately called MAC, an acronym for My Awesome Computer and a play on intent since MAC is a pc) is finally back from the shop!! I am sooo glad to have him back. Even though I had Hubby's laptop to use, I totally prefer my own. Hubby's keyboard is laid out differently that mine and his touch pad is touchy in different places than mine. MAC has complete amnesia and had multiple organs replaced, but HE IS BACK! By this I mean that they had to replace the hard drive (without a current backup or any way to retrieve the contents of the severely dead one) and the DVD drive (both of which I knew were problems) but also had to replace the keyboard (not sure why), and the heat sheet (or something like that) and the DC jack. They also fixed the BIOS and upgraded the firmware. In short, most of MAC's internal parts were switched out.

At least they didn't replace the case - I have my stickers on the lid, most of which I can't replace and many of which have been "personalized" by my Former-Friend's daughter. (That was totally my bad, btw, for leaving MAC where she could reach the stickers - no 2 yr old would know/understand/remember to keep their hands off the "pretties".)

MAC even came home with a couple of new stickers. They are identification stickers but they have "character" and one of them says ADH right under my name. I "personalized" that sticker, adding the last H and a big smiley face. Doing silly, immature things like these stickers lifts my spirits in ways most people don't understand. What can I say? If I don't let "the kids" in my head out to play in little ways, it shows up in less appropriate situations...

At any rate, my happy thought for today is the long-awaited return of my well-loved laptop. LONG LIVE MANUFACTURERS' WARRANTIES!

Saint Theresa's Prayer

Saint Theresa's Prayer
May today there be peace within.
May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.
May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be content knowing you are a child of God.
Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.
It is there for each and every one of us.

Saint Theresa is known as the Saint of the Little Ways, meaning she believed in doing the little things in life well and with great love... She is represented by roses.

Defending Myself and Resulting Censorship

My Former-Friend continues to read this blog and then editorialize on her own. She takes what I have said and turns it over in her mind and then rebuts it. I, obviously, continue to read hers as well. It's hard for me to read her defending herself without wanting to argue the points and correct her misperceptions. Sometimes I want to scream at her or point out all the specific errors in her posts. Other times I just smile at it, at her "logic" and her conclusions.

I tell myself not to bother reading because ultimately it doesn't change anything. I continue to go back because the only thing that rattles me more than the types of attacks she makes is knowing they are being made without knowing what they are. So I read and I am astonished at her thought processes, I am irritated at her plethera of mistakes, and I am relieved as the evidence mounts that this break is exactly what we both needed.

At the same time I feel the need to stop writing as openly and without censoring myself. Everything I say, she takes and twists it around to boost her own position. I hate feeling judged and am acutely aware that whatever I say will be corrupted and used against me. I understand that she needs to do this in order to keep her ego intact but, even though I know not to take her attacks personally, they still bother me. I find myself not willing to publish my posts because I know she will misinterpret everything I say. I find myself censoring my thoughts before they become words because I don't want to give her ammunition to tear me down.

I'm not sure how to resolve this conflict. I no longer bear her ill will but she continues to spew venom. I know which of the things she says are are true, which have half-truths but have been distorted and which things aren't even worth serious consideration. I hate knowing that she will judge and corrupt what I'm writing but I refuse to give her power over me by allowing myself to restrict access to this blog or let her chase me away from my own sacred space.

Of course, she had no business being here in the first place. I have made myself clear many times that I don't want people in my physical life reading my blog because that's where I vent and sort through my emotions and thoughts. What goes into the blog is not intended for the eyes of those I'm writing about. Can you imagine a conversation with a loved one where instead of you choosing what you say to them, they have unlimited access to your thoughts - without your knowledge? It's the same thing.

I suppose I will keep doing what I need to do. I will write what I need to write, where I need to write it, when I need to write. Let her do as she will. Ultimately, what she thinks and feels about me, however correct or distorted, is neither my business nor my problem. It's what I think and feel...