Monday, February 9, 2009

Unspeakable Fear

I don't mean the kind of fear that leaves you powerless to speak, move, breathe, think, EXIST... I mean the kind you literally can't speak of. Even if everyone is thinking it, no one would dare actually say it. Like when you go to the doctor with a lump and can't bear to ask the obvious question of whether or not it's cancer.

Low rolling nausea - 5 days so far, no other symptoms, not a med side-effect, unprotected sex a week and a half ago... please God, no. Please...?

My head knows I'm not. A million things could be causing this. But Fear keeps whispering in my ear. If it continues, I will test. I know it will be negative. But I can't deny the very slim possibility. God wouldn't be that cruel - right? RIGHT???

(Update 2/10/09 10 AM: All is fine according to the pee stick. No clue why the nausea. Going to ignore it.)

1 comment:

Aqua said...

the nausea could be a med side effect. Especially with any mood stabilizers...I find I need to take some of my meds, prozac and tegretol, with a bit of food, or milk...it helps me.
...aqua