I'm Lucky: I'm Not at High Risk for Addiction

I think it's a good thing that I don't have what's referred to as an "addictive personality". I have access to a wide variety of controlled substances and medications with high risk of abuse or dependence. And, the part that spooks me a bit, I really like the way some of them make me feel. But I've never had to struggle to not abuse them. I think longingly of their effects but not even strong enough to be considered a craving and they are relatively easy to resist.

Example:

"Man, that [insert drug name] makes everything in my head slow down and takes the edge off the pain in my soul. I want some."

"Yeah, that would feel good. But that isn't the way to make those kinds of pains go away. It doesn't last long and makes doing other things extremely difficult. Besides, addiction is ugly and this is a great way to start down that road. Do you really want to get hooked on something that would end up controlling you to the point that it would become more important than your kids, that would lead to being willing to lie and steal and put people and our family's lifestyle in jeopardy?"

"Bleh. Killjoy."

"I know. Get over it."

And that's all there is to it. There's no back and forth, push and pull, internal fight about whether to indulge or abstain, no fierce battle of wills inside my own self. I don't have to wrestle with demons to avoid falling into that horrible trap. I don't even worry that I could get to that point.

I am SO lucky. And I know it and am grateful for it every time I consider making that kind of bad choice and don't do it. It isn't that easy for others. It's a battle every waking second for some people. In the same way that it's a battle every waking second for me to stay alive and not jump ship, for some people, the mere presence of high risk substances is playing Russian Roulette. I am infinitely thankful that I don't have that problem. I wish I could isolate, bottle, mass-produce and distribute whatever it is that lets me be this way. Maybe I could trade it for desire-to-live, self-discipline, and anti-laziness potions.