You Look Great!

I am not having a good mental health week. I am trying to keep a smile on my face and an optimistic remark cued up. I grit my teeth against an infinite number of things that shouldn't be a big deal but are seriously annoying me... Kid-1 tapping on things (DUH! He's a drummer!) Hubby snoring (like he can help that! *rolls eyes at self*) Bad 80's movies on the television, stupid songs on the radio, annoying conversations in my head, kids bickering, dog banging on the screen to be let in, stories from my writing groups that are dreadfully awful, anecdotes from friends that are about things I don't care about, error messages on the computer, running out of Mountain Dew, Baby not having a jacket, Hubby home really super late without warning.... things like this that shouldn't - and don't normally - bother me. But I constantly feel like I am having to smother my words and tell my feelings to sit down and shut up.

I feel like shit. I am tired and unmotivated and scared and so angry at myself for everything. The only time I can get anything done is when I shut all the emotions off and run on autopilot.

And yet both my psychiatrist and my GP told me how wonderful I look and that I'm looking better than they have seen me in a long time. I got the same thing from my in-laws last weekend and friends earlier in the week.

So I guess the moral of the story is that a smile and a pre-prepared statement can fool anyone...