I Want to Run

I want to run. Well, actually, I want to jog. I keep coming back to the movie What Women Want where they are working on the Nike Women's Division account. The ad they come up with just appeals to something inside me. I want to do that! But I have to say, this urge puzzles me. Why on Earth do *I* have the desire to run? I have intensely bad knees and asthma. I wonder what is behind this. Is it metaphorical? Am I trying to run away from something? Do I want to hurt myself, as either punishment to myself or to get out of doing things with a "poor me" excuse? Am I trying to prove to myself that I can do something beyond my current reach? Am I trying to set myself up for failure? Or is it nothing more complicated than the feeling I get when I think about it: how freeing it would be to put on a pair of tennis shoes and take to the open road? In thinking about it, this is the same feeling I used to get (and later, to crave) when I would get into my car with a full tank of gas and nowhere to be... freedom.

Of course, I also dream of learning to rock climb. This is just as irrational (or more) than running. As previously mentioned, I have horrible knees. More than that, though, I am afraid of heights. But I love the idea of it, the power it implies. The power to scale walls with only small handholds and a rope. Again here, I am wondering about what is behind the scenes. Again - is this metaphorical for a desire to scale my own infamous wall? A longing to try something I have no chance of succeeding at? Am I hoping to fall and kill myself? Trying to prove I can beat fear? On the other hand, wanting to learn to rock climb doesn't have the same feeling associated with it that running does. It's more vague and "wouldn't it be cool" than a true longing to do it. So maybe the two aren't really related.

"Nike. No games. Just sports." (What Women Want)