Monday, April 19, 2010

Random Thoughts: Numerology

My sons' Cub Scout Blue and Gold Banquet was yesterday. As part of the event, the Pack attended Saturday evening church service together. Bear in mind that this is the same church I tried so hard to convince myself I could believe its teachings. Ultimately, I failed completely and, at the moment, tend to view organized religion as a manipulative means of social control designed around preying on the natural psychological weaknesses inherent in the human spirit. (But that's a story for another day...)

The passage from the Bible around which the sermon revolved came from John, somewhere around John 21:6 and was about Jesus appearing to the disciples after his resurrection. It seems some of them were out fishing (go figure, given that they were fishermen by trade!) and had been having very bad luck all night. They see this random dude on the shore who tells them they should try their nets on the right side of the boat. John 21:6 is the verse where he tells them to do this. And of course, being the obedient little disciples that they were, they obeyed. POOF! They ended up with such a big haul that it should have ripped out their nets but didn't. In John 21:11, it specifies that they caught 153 fish. (I'm not in the mood to hunt down the exact words so go look it up if you want to know the exact verbiage.)

At this point, the pastor mentioned that he had no idea why the Bible specified 153 fish; it seemed like a pretty random number to him. And with that.... my mind was off his sermon and wandering in lazy circles around numbers and their meanings. Who needs social control when you can contemplate random mysticism instead?!

I started messing with the numbers with numerology in mind. I know very little about numerology so it is about on the same footing as my knowledge of the Bible. All I know is that numbers have specific traits associated with them. If there is more than one digit, you add the individual digits together and see what you get then. If you still have more than one digit, you keep doing it until you have just one number.

Alrighty then, that gave me a jumping off point to look for hidden mystical clues concealed in the "random" numbers of cherished verses. So I started with the number of fish: 153.

153 = 1 + 5 + 3 = 9

Now it's time to look for patterns. The obvious place to start is with the verse where Jesus told them to pitch it over the right side. After all, there's some pretty clear cause and effect there: you do what 21:6 says and you get 153 fish.

21:6 = 2 + 1 + 6 = 9

NO FUCKING WAY!! So that was pretty awesome and I resolved to look up numerology and the number 9 at my earliest convenience. I tried looking at other numbers, too. The verse where they count the fish is John 21:11...

21:11 = 2 + 1 + 1 + 1 = 5 (bust)

21:11 = 21 + 11 = 32 = 3 + 2 = 5 (bust)

(now I started wondering if there is some mathematical principle that would make that work.... 21 + 11 leading to 5 just like 2 + 1 + 1 + 1 does. and 21 + 6 = 27 = 2 + 7 = 9. so maybe there is something to that. But my attention was fickle yesterday and I never pursued it beyond noticing those two sets of numbers worked that way.)

At this point I got "creative" in my quest for a pattern. If John 21:11 yielded 5, maybe 5 has something of significance to it. In John 21:11 they caught 153 fish and that has a five in it. So if you pull the 5 out of it, you end up with 1 + BLANK SPOT + 3 = 4 and I thought perhaps that had a connection. Especially since the verse with the counting is 5 verses after the one with the directions.

My head played around with several possibilities. Alas, the middle of a church service is not the ideal time to go searching for the mystical meanings of numbers so I settled for scribbling down the chapter/verse of both the direction to throw the net and the number of fish it yielded as well as the fish-count itself and the number 9. At this point, 20 hours later and still without sleep since yesterday morning, the details of the passage escape me.

I wonder how many people were on that fishing boat? How many were disciples? The right number of people to count could add a neat element to the combination. I know there is a way to do numerology with names by assigning number values to letters so I wonder what number John comes up with, or what the disciples mentioned end up. Maybe they are related to the 5 and 9 somehow.

I did go ahead and google "numerology 9 meaning" to see what I could see. This, of course, can hardly be assumed to be a reliable source but this whole flight of fancy really isn't worth devoting too much time (especially since I have papers to finish that are PAST DUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

http://www.spiritual-numerology.com/numerology-number-meaning/numerology-meaning-of-number-9.html:

You most likely have some of the following strengths and talents at your disposal if the number 9 appears in your numerology chart:

You are socially conscious, concerned about the betterment of the world, idealistic, visionary, tolerant, imaginative and creative, compassionate, romantic, selfless and generous. are also giving, sharing, loving, caring, noble and aristocratic.

You don't mind sacrificing time, money and energy for a better world. You usually finish what you start and you are ready to sacrifice without the need for reward.


Here are some of the career choices that might suit you particularly well if the number 9 is predominant in your chart:

Designer, photographer, politician, lawyer, teacher, healer, statesperson, writer, philosopher, artist.


Some of the following weaknesses, which are associated with the number 9, could slow down or even prevent your progress. But don't worry, it's very unlikely that all of the listed characteristics are part of your personality.

Most probably, only one or a few of them will belong to you:

You can be aloof, withdrawn, distracted, possessive, moody, timid and uncertain. You are often unsatisfied with achieved results and you might get disappointed with life's realities. You also tend to be careless with your finances.

Here is the info from the same site for the number 5:

Number 5 is the most flexible of all numbers.


You most likely have some of the following strengths and talents at your disposal if the number 5 appears in your numerology chart:

You make friends easily, you are versatile and multi-talented, upbeat and inspirational and a good communicator and motivator. You have great verbal skills and you are very dynamic, persuasive, adaptable, versatile and curious, courageous, bright and quick-witted.

You are an explorer and adventurer who wants to experience all of life, you also like to perform in front of audiences and you like to do several things at the same time.


Here are some of the career choices that might suit you particularly well if the number 5 is predominant in your chart:

Salesperson, promoter, entertainer, scientist, travel agent.


Some of the following weaknesses, which are associated with the number 5, could slow down or even prevent your progress. But don't worry, it's very unlikely that all of the listed characteristics are part of your personality.

Most probably, only one or a few of them will belong to you:

It is difficult for you to commit to one relationship and you have difficulties to finish projects. You lack discipline and order, you are impatient, restless, easily distracted and you can be very impulsive.

You might also be susceptible to overindulgence in sensual pleasures. Discipline and focus are the keys to your success.

That site has info on name numerology and date numerology and stuff but I have neither the time, nor the energy, nor the inclination to dig into it at this very moment. I am going to go work on my papers. I got an extension on the deadline but these things won't write themselves, as much as I wish they would!

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Still Kicking

I looked at a friend's blog this evening and saw how long it had been since she last posted. I'm a bit worried about her as she has her own share of struggles to deal with and has been known to get suicidal. I hope she is okay. The last post from her was from mid-March.

Then I realized that my last post was January 4th. And I have been known to get suicidal as well. I don't have a big pool of readers - that has never been the goal of my blogging - but there are a few who are still checking in here, according to my hit logs. A few of them, like my Guardian Angel, are in plentiful contact with me and know that I am still here, breathing in and out every single day.

So here is the official word: I am alive and kicking. Things have gone up and things have gone down and things have averaged out and pretty much run their normal course. My optimism from January has long dissolved but things have certainly been worse too.

I am about 2/3 of the way through spring semester and my grades are holding. I was very discouraged for a while, thought I wouldn't be able to pull A's this term. I had neglected to take in account that I am taking harder classes than in the fall so it hasn't been quite as easy. But they are holding.

A very good friend of mine attempted suicide. He lived. Everything got very dramatic for a while with everything thrown out of proportion. They also got very uncomfortable with some rather ugly realizations coming to light. Maybe we knew they were there all along and just tried not to see them. It's amazing how even when things were at their cruelest with him, there was never that devastating betrayal like with Her.

Things disintegrate with Kid-1 daily. But I think a lot of it is me. I'm finding myself getting more and more angry with him. But I rediscovered the power of the ultimate numb. It will get me through this. If anything can get me through this, the numbness will.

At any rate, I just wanted to tell the world that I am alive. And don't worry if you don't hear from me. Just busy and all that...